Cigarettes and bug farts!

  It’s an odd fuckin’ time in my life. I’ve been doin’ this shit for a while and have always tried my damn’dest  to be what is considered a ‘truly’ successful guy of substance. Not by buying a big house or a fancy car, not at all, having enough jack to eat three times a day and buy some clothes that didn’t have holes in ‘em would be cool though. 
 I’ve beat my head against the wall for years now and keepin’ with the’ doing what I do full time’ and not getting a real job has always been a questionable decision. With not much of a steady income I’ve had to do the grand hustle just to keep me in cigarettes, road trips, motorcycle shit and building the Hamsteak into a livable form of transportation. It’s a stressful pain in the dick but I always seem to make it, usually by the skin of my teeth but making it just the same.

  I have achieved a glorious mess, nothing like I intended when I first started following this path. Coming to grips with the current outcome took some time to sink in.  It did, finally…it is what it is and I am what I am. Now I am kickin’ back filtering through it and comin’ to grips with what I have done.

  Fuck money, I ain’t goin’ to ever have shit to show for things monetarily but I’ll be dipped in shit if it ain’t all kinds of working out just the same. I ain’t livin’ in a cardboard box again and the bike is a runner now. It might not be the life of an artist as it is portrayed on the big screen or romance novels but it ain’t boring.

  Life is like eatin’ pussy. You can’t rush it, you’ll never get everything right and most of all, you got to enjoy what you’re doin because you’re goin’ to be here awhile. In both instances you got to just relax and soak it all in, there ain’t no better place to be.

  I got this whole bike thing goin’ on but I’m really a painter at heart.  Now I got all the other stuff taken care of and finally scored a studio I have no plan on leavin’ any time soon. So what is a painter to do…paint you fuck!

  Painting ain’t ever goin’ to get me anywhere but where I’m at and that’s cool, I’m sick of being pissed. I own my own mobile world and it’s completely livable, now I can finally have a cool studio. A place that is cool enough that I want to be there and just fuckin’ create shit. A shop that is cool enough that people will want to stop in and visit and if they‘re fucktards it’s not a problem…I got guns!

  Knowing that I’m not going to see any significant cash in the near future is a situation that I read as I might as well paint whatever I want then.  I now watch every penny and holding on to each one until my knuckles turn white. I blew what cash I had on figurin’ out what tools and materials I needed to make my own canvases of equal or better quality as the ones I was getting made in the valley.

  So here I am squatting on the floor with a four dollar miter saw, wood and shit just kickin’ out a canvas a day while I’m getting other shit done. Now that I know how to build ‘em and not havin’ to go through the hassle of someone else makin’ ‘em,I can have a stock pile in the arsenal to pull out whenever an idea comes to mind. It’s as liberating as shooting your boss in the head… Just one less thing to worry about.

 Models, well, I can only get ‘em via the inter-web and on there I’m scary as fuck. Somebody will drop their drawers for me and then *BLAMMO* I got a painting ready to go.

  If something deep comes of one of my paintings that’s cool,l but if not I end up painting some hot chick in a creepy environment. Either way I guarantee I’ll have fun, ‘cause I’m doin’ what I WANT to do. Fuck man that smells of ferns and moss to me!

 I’ll ride the bike over, move the Hamsteak in a few days and life will be in order but that’s a few days away. I guess I’ll just paint.  “GTP”