It’s been a while since I’ve done anything on here
so I figured what better day to work on it than my Birthday or as I like to
think about it a celebration commemorating making it another year.
I don’t
think it’s age that really bothers people on days such as this as much as it is thinking that the
clock is winding down faster and faster every year. I know that’s what it feels
like to me.
Mortality has a way of making you think you are
forced to make as much progress in your life as you can. From the moment that
you realize that this period of suckin’ air while wearing a meat suit is
limited and actually has an expiration date you become aware of your accomplishments
and shortcomings. No one is realistically happy with everything that they have
done at least not so far.
I’m no
different than any other swingin’ dick limpin’ around on this planet, there is
shit that I still hope to do and some other passing moments you will always
wish you could just erase but you can’t…it’s all just part of being who you
are.
Some of us
rise from the moment of conception while others (me) flounder around just
havin’ some kicks and hoping that the end will come before your passed
experiences bite you in the ass before you bite the dust…but it eventually
catches up with you unless you die early enough to leave a pretty corpse.
The stories and excitement of your rebellious
youth become the things you share with your friends around the campfire and
make you cringe when you think of doin’ them again. I have a lot of great stories
that I am really glad I’ve been able to collect. If I hadn’t done them would I
want to do any of them now, some yes, but the really interesting ones I
probably wouldn’t want to even toy with the idea now that I have gained even a
limited amount of wisdom.
Making
plans has never been my strong suit. Most of the time I consider this a great
way to live your life. Just roll the dice and see where you ass ends up in a
few decades. I ended up living in alone in an RV working out of a studio in a
small town on the other side of the continent. Breathin’ fresh air and
wondering if this happened by choice or just by chance. All you can be sure of
is this is exactly the place that time has planted you. If I ever thought about
it maybe I would splatter my brains all over city hall but I don’t and it has
so far saved the city the money for the cleanup do to some self-serving act of
cowardess.
My life
has run the gammit. I have had strippers give up the goods when I was still a
looker to having MILFs eye me up like
I’m someone’s creepy uncle now that time has passed and the greys have set in.
I’ve attended midnight mass at the Vatican and ass fucked a school teacher over
a guardrail in central Florida. I’ve seen the love in my brother’s eyes at the
birth of his son and I’ve gone on a three day ethyl-ether bender with a bum in
Philly. I’ve seen the top and lived at the bottom and there is nothing I can do
about any of them and if I could I probably wouldn’t.
So here I
am alone by the wood stove thinkin’ on back and headed towards the door lookin’
for something new…this shit will never end.
“GTP”
