It’s been a while since I’ve done anything on here so I figured what better day to work on it than my Birthday or as I like to think about it a celebration commemorating making it another year.
I don’t think it’s age that really bothers people on days such as this as much as it is thinking that the clock is winding down faster and faster every year. I know that’s what it feels like to me.
Mortality has a way of making you think you are forced to make as much progress in your life as you can. From the moment that you realize that this period of suckin’ air while wearing a meat suit is limited and actually has an expiration date you become aware of your accomplishments and shortcomings. No one is realistically happy with everything that they have done at least not so far.
I’m no different than any other swingin’ dick limpin’ around on this planet, there is shit that I still hope to do and some other passing moments you will always wish you could just erase but you can’t…it’s all just part of being who you are.
Some of us rise from the moment of conception while others (me) flounder around just havin’ some kicks and hoping that the end will come before your passed experiences bite you in the ass before you bite the dust…but it eventually catches up with you unless you die early enough to leave a pretty corpse.
The stories and excitement of your rebellious youth become the things you share with your friends around the campfire and make you cringe when you think of doin’ them again. I have a lot of great stories that I am really glad I’ve been able to collect. If I hadn’t done them would I want to do any of them now, some yes, but the really interesting ones I probably wouldn’t want to even toy with the idea now that I have gained even a limited amount of wisdom.
Making plans has never been my strong suit. Most of the time I consider this a great way to live your life. Just roll the dice and see where you ass ends up in a few decades. I ended up living in alone in an RV working out of a studio in a small town on the other side of the continent. Breathin’ fresh air and wondering if this happened by choice or just by chance. All you can be sure of is this is exactly the place that time has planted you. If I ever thought about it maybe I would splatter my brains all over city hall but I don’t and it has so far saved the city the money for the cleanup do to some self-serving act of cowardess.
My life has run the gammit. I have had strippers give up the goods when I was still a looker to having MILFs eye me up like I’m someone’s creepy uncle now that time has passed and the greys have set in. I’ve attended midnight mass at the Vatican and ass fucked a school teacher over a guardrail in central Florida. I’ve seen the love in my brother’s eyes at the birth of his son and I’ve gone on a three day ethyl-ether bender with a bum in Philly. I’ve seen the top and lived at the bottom and there is nothing I can do about any of them and if I could I probably wouldn’t.
So here I am alone by the wood stove thinkin’ on back and headed towards the door lookin’ for something new…this shit will never end. “GTP”