Our unforgivable sin...

September Eleventh, the big one. The day everyone remembers what they were doing at the exact moment that it all started crashing down. I was too drunk to give a fuck.

   It was early in the day and I was in Florida. I heard the commotion as others gathered around the television as they looked at the images on the screen,I  felt my head pounding from the need for more whiskey and went back to bed. September Eleventh, the day I proved to myself that I was the worst kind of human. September Eleventh is the day that I slept through, I have yet to decide whether I regret it or not.

  I hadn’t had a solid shit in over a decade and was waking up just hoping to die later that day. Self absorbed and emotionless I wasn’t worth the air I was breathing. That’s where I was when all those souls screamed for mercy in New York City.

   9/11 didn’t hit me in the teeth like it did everyone else that horrible day, the realization was fed to me in a slow drip over the years, I hope I have become a better person since then, I wish the horror of this incident could be obliterated from the history books for they will never tell the truth. People were torn from the lives of those that knew them and the real reason will never be told, it has been buried deeper than the bodies of the people that perished that gray washed September day.

  For whatever reason be it religious fanaticism or political agenda thousands of people are no longer with us. They will never return, they will never play with their children, feel the warm summer air, have the voice to give advice, help put a smile on a face or bask in the glow of new found love again, they are fucking dead and we all need to ask if we feel guilty about that.

   Our guilt is fueled by the knowledge that we will never know why all this happened. Anger should the feeling that overwhelms us. The blinders were ripped from our heads that day as we all should have realized that something completely fucked was stinkin’ like a rotting calf in the air from that day forward. Trust should be a thing of the past; paranoia is now the little black dress. Paranoia is total awareness.

  I cannot really remember September Eleventh as a good American should. I can only see it as my hindsight comes more into focus over the years since I put down the bottle. I shutter when the extent of the human races ability to discard the lives of our own becomes more obvious to me, my throat fills with bile when I think that I nodded my head and went back to sleep that morning.

  Unable, to this day, to fathom the depths of our races natural ability to destroy its self I can only pray that those that were lost weren’t lost in vain. The human race needs a wakeup call, I am sorry to say that I don’t think that the horror that this day represents will be enough. Let’s do all in our power to turn these times of deceit and destruction into an era of enlightenment instead of just the time after the Towers came tumbling down. God bless the Americans because America is fucked.